Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Gym Faux Pas

Admittedly, I went to the gym looking a hot mess tonight. Okay, so no one but white college students dress for the gym (I've seen a girl in I'm-too-cool-to-care pink galoshes. P.S.-If you sweat enough to make puddles, you might want to see a doctor.). But still, I looked uber-bad. So, to jazz things up a bit, I put on a matching headband (not a sweatband ala Rocky Balboa, a head band) with my husband's Nintendo graphic tee and some eyeliner AND mascara. (Stop snickering) I tell you all this because I make the effort. I also follow the gym rules. When I arrive at the gym, though I'm a total gum whore, I spit mine out, because no gum allowed. I don't stay on a machine more than 30 minutes if someone is waiting. 'Cause that's the rule. I also don't talk on my cell phone. This brings me to who I like to refer to as Drama Mama. I spotted her cell phone growing out of her ear right away. "RULE BROKEN! RULE BROKEN!" "Oh shoosh, Kati. What are you? The elliptical warden? Lighten up." Then, I see it, an outer-thigh tattoo in full color. This girl's trouble. And so it begins. This chick proceeds to scream into her phone. It'd be cool if she were using positive-screaming (you know, like if she were just loud), "OHMAGOD BECKY! NO WAY!" But no. She's having a full-on argument with...somebody. I catch, "jealousy" and "I don't want to talk about it anymore," and I think, "Then hang the F up or take it outside." Really, if I can hear it over The Prodigy, it's loud. The bruiser on the elliptical next to her stops and moves to a different one. Really? Because I come here to get away from screaming. I didn't catch the unsuspecting girl who took the open spot next to her, "Oh! Teehee! Look, there's one open!" Oops. Doe's about to be rammed by Mac trucks couldn't look as tricked. Sorry. So, I wonder...was there anyone even on the phone with her? Is this a social experiment? Have we all been Punk'd? Is she really just that drama? The world may never know. Perfect revenge, though? Immortalized blog-fodder, beotch.

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