Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Life Just Isn't Fair

Here I am, grazing 30 years of age, and I'm finally coming to terms with a very simple fact: life isn't fair. I have this revelation, nay, this epiphany, in the shower when the crushing force of my To Do list bullet-points like buckshot through my brain. "The gym? Again? Awe crap. But I went twice last week." "Yes Kati, people do tend to have success when they continue to go." This is the conversation I have...with myself. "Walmart? I have to take my children to Walmart? This is gonna be great. That thing the therapist told us to get is probably in the toy section and the kids are going to want whatever they see. Sigh. Avarice is the infection of childhood. Walmart is the bane of my existence."

Spoiler alert! Walmart really was that bad. Cat's have catnip and it makes them crazy in a good way. I am convinced Walmart pumps pheromones throughout their stores that make children crazy. The gym, however, was not that bad. I was not looking forward to it at all. In fact, I was seriously down by the time Joe got home to relieve me. But, I decided to try out the theory that if you work out when you're  depressed, you'll feel better, though I thought it was bull$hit. I really did feel better. I wasn't ready to sing in a grassy meadow like Julie Andrews or anything, but I wasn't ready to put a shotgun in my mouth, either. (Get a [dark] sense of humor, people.)

Anyway, if there is one thing I will instill in my children that Americans usually do not, it is that life is not fair. Americans are usually brought up to believe that we are all created equal. Hint: THAT's Bullshit. Tell that one to my son. This is a blog, not an autism forum, but words fail me to underscore the lack of caring on the part of people who SHOULD be caring in this neck of the woods (and we are very very deep in the woods, mind, you. I hear banjoes).

But...as a family, this is where we are for two more years and no, life isn't fair. And, there are no perfect situations. You can make a good situation or a bad situation out of anything and this situation has potential. I remember reading about Julia Childe in her "My Life in France" book and thinking how very brave she was and how I would have stayed in the house all day and would have become a shut in, too scared of mis-pronouncing something.  Think about it: this woman was a million feet tall, boisterous, knew not one word of French, spoke it horribly, couldn't cook, had no tallents and was now married to a military man so had no job. In theory, she would not fit in with the Parisians. But she made her way. She took a passion and she became herself. Who the hell am I?

Good question.

1 comment:

  1. You'll figure it out. I'm still trying to figure out who I am. The only thing we can do is continue to try different things. Luckily I grew up in a European household so I know that life is not fair. My kids will too learn that yes you can try out for the baseball team but that not everyone should make it because some people just suck at it. Life is about trying hard and sometimes you fail. But when you succeed it feels really good. It feels even better when you know that you did it yourself and that it wasn't just because someone was trying to be "fair". I'm not happy about you guys being up there either but I know and you know that in the end 2 years isn't that long and that we are making the best of it through visiting, facebook and witty texts. (Oh and lets not forget our blogs). Love you and chin up.

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