Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I didn't sign up for this...

credit where credit is due
I still remember my first brush with acrophobia. I was probably about four and I was at my first county fair. I climbed into that rickety bucket on the ferris wheel. All was well until my mother and I got about half way up.

Oh.     Shiz.

(Think Jimmy Stewart in Hitchcock's Vertigo level of panic.)

"MAN! MAN DOWN THERE! I WANT DOWN NOW! GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOOOOOOW!" 

There was no doubt I had made a mistake and I wanted everyone within a 5 mile radius to know it. The carny's cigarette nearly fell from his mouth as he clamored to decide if it was best to reverse the wheel, or let me go around the horn. (Do those things even go in reverse?) Finally, white knuckled, I made it to good ole' terra firma, and haven't attempted the ferris wheel again--- 'til I had children (metaphorically, at least). 

Having children (especially special needs children), much like my ferris wheel ride, often does not go as planned. I was acutely reminded of that the first day of school. Whenever my son is thrust into a new situation, like all of us, he freaks out-- but his freak-outs go to 11. In situations like this, I try to remember the British-- 
But then I remember I'm not English, I'm effing Irish. (Especially when "that" lady takes it upon herself to inform me I'm in the wrong carpool lane at my child's school and I want to punch her in her Cheshire Cat mug and say something like, "Thanks for the signage, Bitch!")
But instead I just sip this:

...and try to do this:


...and dream about these days:


...and focus on later:


...or perhaps:



....NOT this:


...and then I remind myself to stop thinking in pinterest:


...which also reminds me that my birthday is coming up, and I need to make a birthday folder on pinterest:

(more on this later)
What are your phobias?
What does your dream KEEP CALM poster say?

2 comments:

  1. Haha, I love these posters, but I also love the second to last one.

    Pretty sure my dream KEEP CALM poster would say, KEEP CALM and COOK ON. For as many issues with food as I have, cooking is one of my favorite relaxation activities and creative outlets.

    I'm the exact same way about ferris wheels. I'm fine on roller coasters and I've gone bungee jumping and parasailing, but something about ferris wheels has always kind of freaked me out, especially when I was a kid. I have a story that's almost the exact same scenario - going to a little fair, getting on a carnival ride, becoming hysterical and bawling and screaming to be let off - except the carny just laughed and wouldn't let us off until the ride was over and I was riding with my mom who is notorious for laughing when she gets scared so it was insanely awkward while I was crying and freaking out and she and the ride conductor were both laughing...

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  2. OMG your mom and my mom should totally hang out. My mom does that too-- especially when someone's in pain. Yes, I have the food issue/cooking thing, too. (I've heard we're in good company with Sylvia Plath. Genius? I think so!) I bake and chop to release tension. Unfortunately, I eat it, too. :(

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