Friday, April 29, 2011

How I'll spend my summer vacation...

Since I'm taking summer courses, my "break" is technically only a week long, so I need to make the most of the time:
1. READ all the books I've been tantalizing myself with. "If you finish the assigned stuff, you can read the fun stuff." Titles include, but are not limited to: The Book of the City of Ladies by Christine de Pizan (a collection of Medieval stories about kick-a$$ ladies), "A Good Man is Hard to Find" by Flannery O'Connor (figured out I've already read it. Dar.), Bossypants by Tina Fey (as expected-- a fun read), The Beauty Myth by Naomi Woolf (I've heard it's a good counterpart to The Madwoman in the Attic, which was one of the best, hands down, works of literary criticism I've ever had the opportunity to read). There are a couple others, but we'll see what I have time to finish.
2. CLEAN my house and get ready to move later in May. I love to get rid of superfluous crap and moving is an excellent time to do it. :)
3. EXERCISE like a mad woman. My husband and I go to New York as my graduation present in June and I will enjoy myself AND have my picture taken!
4. MOM it up in ASD style: making picture schedules and social stories. For those of you who are unfamiliar with these terms-- a picture schedule is exactly what it sounds like. It's like a magnified planner with pictures of where you're going to go and what you're going to do so that way your child can prepare himself. A social story, on the other hand, can be about anything-- it's basically a picture book which explains something you or I might have no problem grasping, but a child with ASD has no inclination that it's not cool to lick the windows. "Sometimes I get mad. When I get mad, I hit people. Hitting is a bad choice. Etc. Etc." 'cause you can't really say, "One day, you're going to hit someone bigger than you and get mauled, so stop hitting 'cause people think you're a jerk." My son needs pictures instead. :)
5. FIGHT with whomever I have to, to get my son some ABA schooling next year.
6. NOT worry about reading ahead. Too many times I've tried to get ahead and then teacher has changed the reading list and/or syllabus. Extra work for nothing? No thanks.
7. NOT worry about Spanish.
8. ENJOY my quiet time alone! WOOT!
Here's wishing everyone a very happy summer! And, to those of my friends who graduated this semester, congrats and good luck in the job hunt!

Thursday, April 28, 2011


One more final to go. So far, they haven't been that bad. But, as of tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m., I will not have to read Shakespeare ever ever ever again. (Ever.) I thought it was so cute that one day, Joe looked at me and sincerely asked if English majors really do read all the assigned readings or if they, like, Cliff Note things. Frankly, I don't know a Lit major alive who doesn't have on their toolbar. One of my friends from Senior Seminar put it right, "Sometimes, the reading lists are just too much and you have to pick and choose what to actually read and what to sparknote." Because, to Lit majors, apparently, "Sparknote" or "Cliff note" can, in fact, be a verb.
So, for Mother's Day, I decided to get myself some books to read on my week break between semesters. After racking up quite the bill on Amazon, I had the epiphany to try the titles at the school library. Score. They had most of them. If I can get what I want at the library, I feel like somehow I'm cheating the system. Plus, it's less boxes when we move. :) But, as I was laboring over call numbers in the dark alleyways of the library, I started to think, "I've usually read books so as to take in information that might help me in another class, give insight to another paper...after next semester, there will be no more papers, no more teachers, no need." I was excited to think on the prospect of finishing, but a little disillusioned with it as well. I'll be graduating with a lot of (let's face it-- useless) knowledge, but, I'm okay with that. I can't really put my finger on as to why I'm okay with that, but I am. I enjoy reading and writing and I know I'm amongst the minority in everyday life (how many times does one bring up Milton's influence on Mary Shelley in the break room?) but that's cool-- probably because I refuse to let it define me. If nothing else, my education has helped me "define" myself (well, I'm working on it).
In other news, we will be moving into a house soon. I'm so excited for this. I will have a bigger kitchen! (Probably double the size.) The kids and the dog will have a fenced-in back yard! The commute is a bit longer, but it turns out the school we're zoned for is in the top 5. We hope to get my son into an all ABA (classroom for Autistic children) school next year, but I'm still fighting with the McKay scholarship. 
I'm still waiting on my dental appointment to replace my crown I lost on Monday (that's what I get for eating chocolate chip cookie bars. Ouch.). I feel like I'm 94 since I can't eat anything hard and I drink everything through a straw now. If nothing else, though, hopefully I'll lose a few pounds. I have to take such small bites since I can only chew with one side of my mouth that by the time I'm half done with something I'm sick of trying. I also have some swollen tonsils/head congestion thing going on, so that helps kill the appetite as well. There's a silver lining to everything, I suppose. :) I went to Taco Bell for the first time in a milliondy years today and I couldn't even finish my burrito. For one, I couldn't taste it 'cause of the head cold thing and second it erupted on my new, robin's egg blue t-shirt. Seriously? This is what I get for not buying black, as usual. (See, people usually just think I'm dark-- I'm really just sloppy.)
Well, off to study Shakespeare-- for the last time! Muhahahha!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

That's what you get

The other day I was standing in line at CVS when a really loud girl walked up behind me. She ANNOUNCED to everyone in the store:

I fought the urge to turning around, "See boys and girls...exercise is bad for you."

Friday, April 15, 2011

Autism Awarenes Month

In honor of Autism Awareness Month, I have decided to finally start up a section of my blog I like to call, "Your child might be ASD if..." These, of course, are things I think are normal for a 5 year old boy to do, but from the looks I get in stores or when people visit our home, they are definitely (ahem) not. That whole "normal" thing is pretty relative and I always have to rush to comfort people when they accidentally compare my son to a "normal" kid. "OHMYGOD I'M SO SORRY!" "Seriously? Calling it 'typical' isn't any different." (The political group-speak just pisses me off. If you ask me, it smells of pity. And, pity wreaks. Sorry, stepping off soapbox.) At any rate, this is my way of "owning" this life. For too long I've lived like he's just going to snap out of it somehow. This is my way of dealing with the ups (and there are ups) and downs of autism in our family. At times, I hate autism. I feel like it's socially and academically crippled my son by taking away his ability to communicate, not to mention made him sickly. But, there are times when I just shake my head and laugh or I'm even a teensy bit happy the autism is there. He'll probably never care the other kids aren't playing with him. He is totally cool with wearing his underroos, clothes, socks- inside out, backwards,  you name it. He probably will never understand embarrassment, which isn't embarrassment crippling in it's own right? Besides, it's really really cute that he knows the difference between a screech owl and a snow owl and how he somehow knows the brown hippo is missing from his toy box, even though is has 1,287 other ones, because the brown one must join the others in being tucked in at night.
If you want more info about Autism, CLICK HERE.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

You know you're pre-menstraul when... tear-up at "touching moments" while watching Ugly Betty. Hormones suck a$$.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been...uh...30 years since my last confession. Okay, so I'm not Catholic, but I do have some things I just need to come clean about.

1. I can never (ever) understand Asian Americans with thick accents. I purchased sides for my entree I didn't want, I have procured air brushed flowers on my toenails I would never have asked for-- all because I just smile and nod like the idiot American. I have heretofor given up calling in the take-out order, after being screamed at (I think she thought if she spoke the unintelligible words LOUDER, the stupid white girl would understand) by the lady at Imperial Wok for 5 minutes. I seriously thought she was asking me what "sides" I wanted with my General Tso's Chicken. "Uuuuhhhh...I guess rice? Egg rolls?" "SIZE! SIZE!" "White rice?" "SIIIIIIIIZZZZZE!" "OOOOOHHH! Sorry-- large." "Okay, 10 min."
2. I cried when I saw the last Narnia well as the first one. And, I cried when Dumbledore died in Rowling's book. (Wow. I sound like a DD sap.)
3. I love the smell of Noxema. I don't care if it smells like your grandmother, all the formaldehyde (or rat poison or whatever)  makes me feel clean. Maybe it was all the Noxema advertisements growing up? Whatever it is, I wish they'd make a cologne out of it and I'd bath in it. In fact, if I were forced into rehab, I'd smuggle the cologne in and drink it. This is how committed I am to this brand.
4. I still use harsh cleansers when I clean and real butter when I cook.
5. I'm a child of the 80's, yet I do not like The Goonies. And, the whole, "Baby Ruuuuth?" quote just pisses me off.
6. I'm totally un-American: I don't like McDonald's french fries, mac n cheese, hot dogs, or apple pie. I know, I'm a Commie.
7. I'm totally un-womanly: no cuddling. Ever. I must be free!
8. I have to end things on even numbers. Even if there is no substance to them...(if I think of anything, I'll let you know.)